Funny brain quotes 2018

Date: 15.10.2018, 00:14 / Views: 62262
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I always say that going to the gym should be fun for having fun is the key to sticking with any exercise program. Dr. Ernie Medina says that fun is the most important ingredient in fitness.

There are many ways to get motivated but nothing makes things as easy as a dose of humor can. If workout  is fun, you’re more likely to find more reasons to do it and less excuses not to. Maybe the problem with people who are trying to lose weight and get fit is: they treat fitness too seriously. I can tell you that having fun while doing the workout is not a sin. Quite the contrary, it distracts you from the pain and takes your mind off tiredness and straining exercises.

We all face obstacles in pursuing our goals, whether they’re personal or professional. But if we confront them with a light sense of humor life gets much easier.

This is why I have looked for some funny fitness quotes to show you that fitness can be fun. Perhaps qutoes will help you loosen things up a bit for you. Maybe they will even invigorate your spirit, stir up your motivation  and keep you on the  »funny«  track.

I believe that your fitness should be social. Therefore, find the exercise you love, mingle and have fun. And next time when you hit the gym have in mind that comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.


  • “I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent… twisted… gyrated… jumped up and down… and perspired for a half an hour. But by the time I got my tights on…. the class was over!” – Anonymous
  • “God must love calories, because he made so many.” – Anonymous
  • “You aren’t going to get the but you want by sitting on the one you have.” – Unknown
  • “Give Peas a Chance Don’t frown, don’t pout, you gotta workout!” – Unknown
  • “Turn on your piece of equipment, place a meal on it, watch it bounce around and if anyone asks, tell them you’re just burning off the calories and carbohydrates before you eat it.”  – Want To Be Fit
  • “My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” -Orson Welles
  • Sweat is fat crying. – Unknown
  • On moment on your lips forever on your hips. – Unknown
  • Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. — Robert Hutchins
  • Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
  • The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, “If we’re going to charge an hour, we can’t call it jumping up and down.” — Rita Rudner
  • Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starches into aches, pains, and cramps. – Anonymous
  • You’ve reached middle-age when all you exercise is caution. Anonymous
  • The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back. — Franklin P. Jones
  • “The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!” -Author Unknown
  • “People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that’s the problem.” -Chris funny brain quotes 2018 Adams
  • “I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” – Marsha Doble
  • If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales… Unknown
  • If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes…we are racing. – Unknown
  • At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: ‘1…2…3…’ Hot girl walks by Boy: ’97…98…99…’ – Unknown
  • I don’t get why gyms have mirrors…I know what I look like. That’s why I’m there. – Unknown
  • I would have dropped dead if I hadn’t wanted to stay alive for you.” – Unknown
  • Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. –   Robert Maynard Hutchins
  • When I exercise, I wear all black. It’s like a funeral for my fat. – Unknown
  • Fitness: if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body. – Cher
  • Once I was a forty pound weakling. Now I am two separate gorillas.  Vivian Stanshall
  • I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers
  • I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. – Mark Twain
  • Exercise is done against one’s wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse – George Sheehan
  • Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. – Robert A Heinlein
  • I think that making love is the best form of exercise.  Cary Grant
  • If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all. – Joey Adams
  • I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there’s only so many times you can hit the snooze button- Unknown
  • “Whatever doesn’t kill me… Had better start running” – Unknown
  • Weight Loss Tip: If you are afraid of gaining weight – drink 50 ml of brandy before every meal – it will reduce fear. 🙂
  • You’ve reached middle-age when all you exercise is caution. –  Anonymous
  • “People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that’s the problem.” -Chris Adams
  • Dolly Parton: “I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
  • Henry Sambrooke Leigh: “If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.”
  • Andy Rooney: “The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!”
  • The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.” – Unknown
  • Accidentally consumed  five biscuits when I wasn’t paying attention.Those biscuits are wily fellows.They leap in like sugary ninjas.” – Charles Dickens
  • I was just wondering how skinny I’d be if I had to pedal to keep the computer on? – Unknown
  • “Everyone thinks that a woman’s dream is to find the perfect man. They’re wrong because a woman’s only dream is to eat a lot without getting fat.” – Unknown
  • My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. – Dave Barry
  • I don’t always go to the gym. But when I do, I make sure everyone on Facebook knows about it. – Unknown
  • I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio. – Unknown
  •  “You know, it’s hard to lose weight when you have an… what’s it called, overactive Knife and Fork!” – Unknown
  • Dear funny Santa, for 2013 all I want is a fat bank account, and a fit body. Lets try not to mix up the two like you did last year, ok.  – Unknonw
  • Why do people keep their scales in the bathroom? They should keep them in the kitchen. I think I’d feel  guilty eating  bag of Oreos if I knew scale is watching me. – Unknown
  • “Wow, that Lean Cuisine really filled me up”, said no one ever. – Unknown
  • Pull-ups: Because everyone’s jaw drops when they see a girl bust them out! – Elisa Murphy
  • Sure I have rock hard abs, I just keep them under all this fluff so people don’t like me just for my body! – Unknown
  • Thought of the day: If heat makes things expand…I don’t have a weight problem…I’m just HOT. – Unknown
  • I’m on three diets...Well, you don’t get enough to eat on just one, do you? – Unknown
  • DIET stands for Did I Eat That? – Unknown
  • Thanksgiving tip: “DON’T FORGET to set your scales back 10 Ibs tonight. 🙂
  • I hate it when you open the fridge and can’t find what you were looking for. Like happiness and perfect abs.
  • Me? A procrastinator? I’ll prove you wrong someday. Just you wait and see.
  • I was going to quit my all my bad habits. I really was. But then it occured to me that no one likes a quitter!
  • It took a lot of will power, but I finally gave up dieting.
  • One of the hardest meals for me to limit myself is the one from Halloween till New Years.
  • What do I think about when I workout? Sometimes I fantasize about the world where I’m the ruler, chocolate makes you lose weight and everything is 95% off!
  • Here’s a list of everyone  who has lost weight by sitting on the couch watching the Biggest Loser.
  • I did lose five pounds this week, but found it in the refrigerator this weekend.
  • Your motivational workout quotes annoy me so much I’m rebelling and have decided to remain lazy and slightly overweight.
  • “…aim to look good naked…and more often than not, everything will fall in place – fitness, health, you name it!” ― The Fitness Doc
  • My friend was wondering today why brain cells die, skin cells die, your hair follicle die, but fat cells live FOREVER?
  • I’m opening a gym called, “Resolutions.” It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks and then turn into a bar for the rest of the year!



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